Daily Diary · LOVE · Personal · Story of my life

Wrap It Up With A Pretty Little Bow

Wow, seven f–ing months since my last entry. A lot had happened within the past few months; and by a lot I mean a looooot. I don’t even know where to start.

Maybe I should start with the bad, it’s better to have a happy ending. Everyone deserves that… Yes, even my entry 😉

November 2017. I was doomed. I thought it would be the end of me. The end of my happiness. The end of my life, in general. My relationship that time ended, because of third party (Duh. As if its new nowadays). I’m not gonna go into details because it’s not worth your (and my) time. Basta, third party. Alam mo na ‘yon! The relationship lasted for almost 3 years, I think. I would say that it was beyond stressful kind of relationship. Not because it didn’t work out (I’m not bitter, excuse you!) but I realized that the relationship was causing me no good. You know, trust issues. It was too rough to handle and its causing me a lot of stress. Bottom line, I’m beyond happy it ended. Let’s just leave it at that.

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I later realized that I should thank Him for all those experiences. In a way, it taught me a lot of lessons for me to keep forever.

Just to take a little step back. I was transferred to a different account because our company encountered a problem which would require them to transfer some agents (us) to a different account to ensure that we kept our job. Good thing, we did. Remember when I posted this? Yes, that’s it. If I can remember it correctly, I started my training September last year. I got the chance to meet new people. Who would’ve thought that someone in that same room will change how I see life,  made me understand what love truly is, and prove to me that I deserved so much more. Charot!

I kept everything that had happened about how my previous relationship ended. I did not post anything related about it. I thought it was something not worth sharing and will never do good to me, or anyone that was involved in the situation. So, I chose to be silent.

I met a few new people during training. I can’t thank them enough for being there after what happened. They were all ears listening to my nonsense drama. (But someone stood out. Someone who really went the  extra mile in terms of comforting me. More about him later on :p). They were a huge help during the process.  Drinking session every after our shift was all it takes for me to let everything sink in and finally moved on.  One time, this whole bunch decided to have a quick getaway. This was last November 19ish or 20ish  2017.  We all know that the sun, beach, good food and alcohol will always be a good combo to loosen things up. You know, forget the pain and stress away just for two days. True that!

Here are some pictures we had during that FUUUUUN trip.

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You found a heart shaped stone, and you showed it to me. I’m not sure if it means something, but this really made my heart jumped a little at that time. I don’t even know why 🙂

How can I forget how great that day went? That day that changed everything. And by the way, I got drunk. Really drunk. Oops.

I never knew this trip would change me and my life. Earlier, I mentioned about someone who stood out on the comforting stuff and all that. It’s time for you to meet him.

PS: Please excuse me, I will be (a little) cheesy here ;p

You were the only guy who took the time in sending me long messages to make me feel better during my healing process. You used to advise me how to move on and let it all go. And you always remind me that I need to eat.

You were sending me “Good morning, don’t forget to eat” and “Good night” texts, it sent me a signal that there IS something, but I ignored it. I considered it as a friend-comforting-his-friend-the-best-he-can-because-they-are-friends kind of text. BUT, the moment you bought that Pringles for me, I knew something was off (in a good way), but I never considered it since you were always that “guy friend” who every girl needs to have. I don’t want to ruin our good friendship just because of wrong assumptions.

When you confessed your feelings towards me, it felt euphoric. I never thought that an amazing person like you, likes me that much. I always get that giddy feeling going back to those words you said up to now

We both decided to make ourselves official the moment you brought me to Bacolod the first time. I knew that it was really official the moment you told your mom about me; about us. I was kinda bit hesitant about it, because everything  happened so fast. But, I knew it from there that this aint no temporary love. 😌

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December 2017: First trip together (w/ friends). You brought me to The Ruins, and I thought it was the greatest thing Bacolod could offer. But I was wrong, definitely wrong.

To be honest, I didn’t know why I let you in and how everything happened so fast; but I never regretted that decision in any way, not even a tiny bit. Even if I just recently got out of a failed relationship, you still pursue me and I’m thankful you didn’t give up. Also, I hope you don’t have any slight of regret for taking that step up to this day.

Everyone was surprised and happy at the same time after they found out that we are together. All of our friends were happy and supportive. I’m beyond ecstatic.

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Last week of January: We went back to Bacolod. This time to officially meet your whole family. You also brought my cute little ass to this hidden beach called “Sipalay

It was the best road trip in my entire life, yet. (I know there’s a lot more adventures for us!)  We drove around 3-4 hours and talk about life, plans, our pasts, any everything under the sun.

I might be so bad at showing it, but this moment brought me beyond cloud nine. I promise, this time no matter what happen.. I got you! ♡

Everyday, I always wonder how I got to be this lucky to find someone who is patient and understanding enough to deal with my weirdness, short tempered, and the lack of power to hear 80% to 90% of the things you or others say. Also, thank you for calling me beautiful, even when I haven’t taken a bath yet nor make up on.

Now, I will be forever a living proof of what they say: “Never settle for someone less than what you deserve.”

So, thank you for coming into my life, into the most unexpected time, but in the most perfect timing!

You are such a wonderful blessing I will never let go.

Yes to more adventure and let’s continue to find beautiful places to get lost.

As I promised, we will walk together to this long journey ahead of us. 🙂

Cheers love! ♡♡

 

xoxo,

Cokie

Daily Diary · Personal · Story of my life

I Know I’ve Been Gone A Long Time

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My last post dated October 8, 2017. That’s exactly 7 months of being inactive. Looking back on my previous post, I know you’d say “Here’s this girl (again?!) making bitchy excuses for being so lazy in updating her blog”. I know; and I’m not gonna deny I’ve been so busy and lazy for the past few months. But hey, I never regretted being inactive that long (sorry, not sorry!!) because I just had the best time of my life!!! A lot has happened in that 7 months time. It was a more than the scariest roller coaster ride ever, I must say.

However, it’s true when they say “When you keep putting out good. It will come to you ten fold in unexpected ways.” Well, in my case it came greater than ten fold.

After a lot of stressful and antsy nights for the past few months.. I’m back!!! This time, I know this is the happiest version of myself, and I could not ask for more! ♥

Now, I’m ready to share with you guys (a summary, at least) of how those dramatic yet breathtaking months went. So brace yourselves on my next entry!! ♡ ♡ ♡

xoxo,

Cokie

 

 

Personal · Story of my life

The Sunday Currently | 15

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I know I left my blog idle for quite some time,  but I’ve been wanting to write all the ideas, thoughts, and rants rummaging around my brain and heart. But I can’t, a lot of negative things have been happening with my life, lately. I’ve been thinking, to write all of them down here, but no.. I’m still in a juncture that “some things are better left unsaid” well in my case — write. But I don’t think I can keep them for too long, I think it’s time for me to let it all out because I’m not sure what will happen next if I continue keeping this to myself. Talk about how melancholic my life is at this very point.

This is not gonna a typical ‘Sunday Currently’ that I usually write. It’s been a rough night (months actually) for me. I thought it would be the usual rest day I normally enjoy, unruffled myself with all the stress from work, to forget bills — just for two days. Two days is all I’m asking — but no. I was wrong; very wrong.

 CURRENTLY 

Reading

Sad Girl by Lang Leav. Dagnabbit! This book is giving the f e e l s. I’m half way. Almost there.

Writing

This entry, and 2 new entries for my 30 day writing challenge. I really need to catch up with that. Teheee

Listening

Too Good at Goodbyes by Sam Smith

Thinking

of a lot of questions. What did I do wrong to deserve all of this sadness? Am I bad daughter? A bad sister? A bad friend? A bad person, in general? I’m not perfect (especially you), not even close.  I commit mistakes, but I don’t think you were given the right to  put me in a situation that would cause me to cry each and every night trying to figure things out. I’m not exaggerating. I can’t help but wonder, why? What did I do to deserve this? Please someone answer me. Maboang nako!

Smelling

the barbecue chips i’m munching right now.

Wishing

me and myself would survive this bs. I’m really tired dealing with all of these people who are bringing all the negative energies right into my life’s door step. Seriously, what the actual f—?

Hoping

that even if I’m in the shittiest part of my life, I’m still thankful with the things and some people I can count on. They are the few people I’m getting the courage and strength to survive. I can still be as positive as the quote I posted above. I hope I can still divert myself from thinking anything or anyone that would cause me to mourn because my eyes are really tired. In that way, I could still say that I’m strong enough; strong enough to laugh, when all I really want to do is to cry my heart out.

Wearing

an old cwts tshirt and a stripe board shorts

Loving

how that person throws his anger to me, to put the blame on me with everything that is going on with his (and his family’s) life, to show other people how ungrateful, churlish, ill-mannered  I am, and make me feel how less of a person I am. I am quite amazed how he expressed that much rage to me on a Sunday night when all I want to do is chill. Just for once. Is that too much to ask from you?

Wanting

Silence — from all the noise coming from the demons inside my little head

Needing

PEACE. I want to have the old life I had way back then. When I have all the assurance, attention, and genuine laugh, I could ever have.

Feeling

Desolate. I’m still in shock from what happened. Please keep up the good work and continue messing up my whole life, Mister. One favor though, when you get to hell please send my kisses to Satan, your attitude is not too far from his. I know you two would really have a good time.

I hope you guys are having a great Sunday!— even if I obviously didn’t have a good one.

Join The Sunday Currently link-up by siddathornton!

 

Daily Diary · Personal · random thoughts · Story of my life

Weigh Things Out

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It’s not your weight you always weigh… sometimes, its your career path

I’ve been working for almost 2 years now, and by far this is the longest time I committed to a certain company. Previously, I can last for 6 mos or a year just because I don’t feel like working or I get bored. I’m really surprised that I actually got used to a thing that I really hated when I was still in school. I’m quite amazed though looking back, I never thought that I would really have that real maturity in me to work my ass out even on the laziest days of my life. Those days when you wake up and you just want to hit that snooze button and just get back where you left off in your dreams, but yeah you could just do that in your dreams. Haha! I guess when you finally have bills and responsibilities, you don’t have a choice but drag that booty to the office and start to work!

It’s true what they say “The only constant in this world is change“, a lot of rumors for the past few months have been going around the office that in the next few months the account/company will close and we all end up with NO job, and that is goddamn scary. Aside from the fact that I can’t pay my bills, but thinking of updating my resume, scanning companies I can apply, going through those nerve-wracking interviews, hardcore exams, getting those government requirements, and injections because of medical purposes is something I don’t want to do, ever again as much as possible. A lot of mixed and violent reactions, and people pressed their panic button like…

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However, after a number of weeks/mos the rumor/s settled down itself. Although, this week has been one of the most relax one; which is odd. A lot of offline trainings and meetings that we always love but we rarely get before. We always love to go off the phones. We were wondering though, but enjoyed it anyway. I’ve been hearing a lot of scuttlebutt and versions about the issue and I was quite doomed, but more unprejudiced about the buzz until I can hear it from the director/managers. I was trying to digest all the speculations and just act neutral to it. A lot of people said that I shouldn’t worry about it because the company will surely keep me and value me as an employee. So, I was nonchalant about it.

… but yesterday the news was finally ratified and validated; I understand that during that one hour talk, there were things that they made it as positive as possible, which I understand. A lot of reactions murmuring the whole room during the discussion. Finally, all the issues were answered, but some were not given a direct answer due to the fact that they need to get the numbers first before giving out any information. At the end, we were given two options as to where we will go. It’s weird because it made me feel that nervous feeling that I forgot when was the last time I felt. And also, the fact that you need to make a decision for yourself. I’m really bad at decision-making. I suck at it big time! I weigh things out, checked the pros and cons, and I really contemplated what I really wanted. I came up with a decision that is practical, permanent, and something good for me. Myself really deserves a big pat on the back for doing it alone. That is rare!

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Mixed emotions. I was doomed, because I won’t be doing the same thing I’ve been doing for almost two years now, but more relief that I still got a job to keep and still receive a monthly salary to keep me updated with my bills (Wow, bills really made me a responsible adult somehow hahaha).

Plus, I just unexpectedly learned something about me. For the past few days during the buzz, I’ve been hearing both negative and positive reactions about it, but deep inside me while listening to the people I talked, there are really certain points in our life that we do need to understand that there are (will always be) two sides to every story. You should not always wear blinders, and try to listen to both sides so that you can actually understand it as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I understand everyone (even me) has an opinion to say, but it would actually make a lot more sense if you would hear both sides and not just your own standpoint. In that way, you could ponder things out much better before saying/reacting  into something. Aside its good for you and for the people around you, you’re discreetly lessening the negative energies around us. P o s i t i v i t y !!!!! YAAAAS, PREACH GIRL!! PREEEEEACH!

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Daily Diary · Personal

Invest In Your Skin

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I’ve been working on this blog for quite some time now, but I’m still in the process of learning consistency. I’m still coping up even with my other draft posts. So I decided to share the things I bought for my face right after I received those wonderful outfits and dresses yesterday from the mail. I’m still so happy about it!!! Here are some of the skin regimens I bought yesterday. Disclaimer: I’m not a skin/beauty expert.

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1. Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water : I super love this product. I’ve been using this for a few months now. I love how it really cleanses your face regardless if you wash it with a cleanser or not. The best part of it though is, it shortens your nightly routine because it acts as a cleanser, toner and moisturizer in one. Although, I still use different products for my toner and moisturizer. It’s just around P150-200, and that’s a big saving for me! There are two types of Garnier’s Micellar Water, there is this pink one which is for normal to dry and sensitive skin; while the blue one which based on the description “removes make up — even waterproof mascara” so I’m under the impression that it would work for girls who wear heavy duty type of make ups. I could be wrong though, because the reviews I’ve read online says otherwise.

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2. iWhite Nose Pack (Whiteheads & Blackheads Remover) : iWhite has been all around drugstores! They are very affordable and effective (based on the products I used), which is perfect for me. I’ve been aiming to have that glowing skin without spending too much. I tried their face cream before and it’s really nice to use as your everyday face cream. It’s not that bad, though. I’ve been seeing a lot of whiteheads on my face lately, so I’m trying this one.

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3. Myra Vitasmooth Hydrating Facial Moisturizer : This is gon’ be my  first time to try this. I tried some of Myra’s products and they are really effective (for me). I’m not sure with this product here. I’ve seen good reviews about it. It consist emollients and humectants that is perfect for moisturizing products. It’s just around P80-90ish, so it doesn’t hurt your wallet. I will let you know how this one turns out. : )

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4. Maxi-Peel Sun Protection Cream : I lost the picture I took for this product so I grabbed one from google. I bought a sachet version of it because it’s also my first time trying this. I’m gonna check first if it would work for my skin. Aside from that, I also don’t need sun cream that much since I work night shifts. So again, I will let you guys if I recommend this or not.

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5. Ponds BB Cream : I’ve been looking for the perfect face cream for my skin tone. I tried two brands of face cream which is Skin White and iWhite. It didn’t do that ‘good’ for me. I tried Maybelline All-in-One BB Cream, it was nice though but it feels so heavy on my face. I want to use lighter BB Cream products on a daily basis. I decided to try this one from Ponds. So far I’m loving it. It’s very affordable that it wont hurt you if you would use it everyday; and you can just put a little amount of the product on your face and its still gon’ give you that glow.

6. Xtracare Oatmeal Daily Moisturizing Lotion, Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Body Yogurt, and Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer : I got this from the package. I previously had a bad experience with Jergens, but I’m trying their skin moisturizer, hope it would turn out better. However, I’m excited to try the Xtracare and Aveeno Moisturizing Body creams or lotion, whatever you called them; because oats are perfect for your skin. You can actually use pure oats that would help your skin remove dryness, moisturize it, lightening and skin protection. Fact: “Oat baths were largely used by the ancient Greeks and Romans for healing skin ailments” — so it’s proven and tested.

“Invest in your skin. It is going to represent you for a very long time – Linden Tyler.”

Daily Diary · The Sunday Currently

The Sunday Currently | 14

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I am extremely happy today because, 1. It’s Sunday. 2. I had 7 hours of sleep after the longest time, and 3. Package just arrived!!!!! Woot! Woot! Although, I’ll be working on a Sunday, but the fact that plenty of goods and chattels are here for me (all for meeee!) is a big plus to make this as one of the best Sunday; and since mail just arrived, that means more money for piggy bank because I don’t need to shop and spend too much money for clothes and all that. I’m frugal, I know! I think as I grow older I later realized that there are a lot more sensible things we should invest/spend our money. That is just me, though.

I’m actually lucky (and beyond thankful) to have a supportive Aunt and sister who is based in the states and keep on sending me goodies because with that I don’t need to shop here and spend too much money into clothes or make ups that is way cheaper in US.

 CURRENTLY 

Reading

Sad Girls by Lang Leav

Writing

This entry and starting my new entry for the 30-day challenge I started a few months back. I really had a lot on my plate for the past few days, and I just use my free time to get some sleep. Teeheeee

Listening

Wild Thoughts by DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna, Bryson Tiller. Much love for Riri!! ♡ ♡ ♡

Thinking

of the investment I’ve been planning for the longest time. I hope I can make the right decision with this one. Wish me luck!

Smelling

the smell of those newly opened cardboard boxes fresh from the states…. i know that you definitely know what I mean!

Wishing

to scratch out the top one on my bucket list hopefully within this year. Fightiiiiing!

Hoping

to have a positive mindset these upcoming days. I’ve been so pessimistic lately and I hate it!

Wearing

a gray tank top and a maong shorts.

Loving

what I ate earlier. Porksilog!!!!!!!!

Wanting

to get some fries and burger from McDo!

Needing

some sunlight! I’ve been working on a graveyard shift for roughly a month or more. I start my shift at 7pm and ends at 4am. I miss you, Mr. Sun! 😉

Feeling

thankful for today. After those despairing nights I realized there are lot I should be thankful. It’s sad I took most of them for granted!

I hope you guys are having a great Sunday!

Join The Sunday Currently link-up by siddathornton!

 

Daily Diary · Personal · Story of my life

Strip That Down

After few years, please pop the confetti as I post my first OOTD entry. I’ve been wanting to post it here, and finally…. I’m making the dream come (not) true!!!

I had the best weekend (day-off) for a long time! If you’ve read the last The Sunday Currently I posted, you would know that I took my cutie lazy ass to one of the trending place in town which is The Thray. I realized that I should go out more often, I should stop prioritizing sleep over much more important things… but sleep is love. *sad*

I decided to wear a knee length gray dress paired with a denim jacket, white shoes, with a chain bag. I was actually in the mood in dressing up that time. I swear, that dress would really look great if someone who has long legs would wear it. So pardon, for not giving justice to the outfit. Lol.

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This is a “Come here, and take a photo of me. I ain’t scared of flashes” photo. It turn out peculiar and ugly. A face that could scare a million crows. Dagnabbit! Why do I have to be this ugly. Lol! However, I really don’t give a f*ck because a little fashion never hurt anyone, nor yourself. So continue dressing up, and making yourself happy because you deserve it!

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After all, making yourself happy is the least you can do to yourself. Cheers for the happy weekend! ♥