I’ve been working for almost 2 years now, and by far this is the longest time I committed to a certain company. Previously, I can last for 6 mos or a year just because I don’t feel like working or I get bored. I’m really surprised that I actually got used to a thing that I really hated when I was still in school. I’m quite amazed though looking back, I never thought that I would really have that real maturity in me to work my ass out even on the laziest days of my life. Those days when you wake up and you just want to hit that snooze button and just get back where you left off in your dreams, but yeah you could just do that in your dreams. Haha! I guess when you finally have bills and responsibilities, you don’t have a choice but drag that booty to the office and start to work!

It’s true what they say “The only constant in this world is change“, a lot of rumors for the past few months have been going around the office that in the next few months the account/company will close and we all end up with NO job, and that is goddamn scary. Aside from the fact that I can’t pay my bills, but thinking of updating my resume, scanning companies I can apply, going through those nerve-wracking interviews, hardcore exams, getting those government requirements, and injections because of medical purposes is something I don’t want to do, ever again as much as possible. A lot of mixed and violent reactions, and people pressed their panic button like…

However, after a number of weeks/mos the rumor/s settled down itself. Although, this week has been one of the most relax one; which is odd. A lot of offline trainings and meetings that we always love but we rarely get before. We always love to go off the phones. We were wondering though, but enjoyed it anyway. I’ve been hearing a lot of scuttlebutt and versions about the issue and I was quite doomed, but more unprejudiced about the buzz until I can hear it from the director/managers. I was trying to digest all the speculations and just act neutral to it. A lot of people said that I shouldn’t worry about it because the company will surely keep me and value me as an employee. So, I was nonchalant about it.

… but yesterday the news was finally ratified and validated; I understand that during that one hour talk, there were things that they made it as positive as possible, which I understand. A lot of reactions murmuring the whole room during the discussion. Finally, all the issues were answered, but some were not given a direct answer due to the fact that they need to get the numbers first before giving out any information. At the end, we were given two options as to where we will go. It’s weird because it made me feel that nervous feeling that I forgot when was the last time I felt. And also, the fact that you need to make a decision for yourself. I’m really bad at decision-making. I suck at it big time! I weigh things out, checked the pros and cons, and I really contemplated what I really wanted. I came up with a decision that is practical, permanent, and something good for me. Myself really deserves a big pat on the back for doing it alone. That is rare!

Mixed emotions. I was doomed, because I won’t be doing the same thing I’ve been doing for almost two years now, but more relief that I still got a job to keep and still receive a monthly salary to keep me updated with my bills (Wow, bills really made me a responsible adult somehow hahaha).

Plus, I just unexpectedly learned something about me. For the past few days during the buzz, I’ve been hearing both negative and positive reactions about it, but deep inside me while listening to the people I talked, there are really certain points in our life that we do need to understand that there are (will always be) two sides to every story. You should not always wear blinders, and try to listen to both sides so that you can actually understand it as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I understand everyone (even me) has an opinion to say, but it would actually make a lot more sense if you would hear both sides and not just your own standpoint. In that way, you could ponder things out much better before saying/reacting  into something. Aside its good for you and for the people around you, you’re discreetly lessening the negative energies around us. P o s i t i v i t y !!!!! YAAAAS, PREACH GIRL!! PREEEEEACH!